State of Mind

The Irony of Truth

It breaks you to pieces
It makes you whole again
It stings like a mad bee
It soothes and heals the pain

It is easy to lose
It is harder to find
It makes a blind man see
It makes a sharp man blind

It brings tears to your eyes
It delivers your smile
It glues you to a place
It makes you run a mile

It nails you in bondage
It liberates a slave
It cripples a giant
It makes a coward brave

It modestly forgives
It doesn’t feel sorry
It stands the test of time
It twists in irony.


My Blood is Underweight

I was so eager for today to come because there is a blood donation drive organised by the iEvents committee. I even went to bed at 9:30 PM last night!

Went down to the auditorium together with Louise and Shakeela. Preliminary check was okay, even asked the doctor to drop 2kg from the form 🙂 The next stop was blood check. It was not a good sign coming from the girl’s face. She told me that my blood is not sinking. I was like, “Err, what does that mean?” She took more of my blood and insert into a portable machine. She said, “Your Hb count is low, 11.4 only. You go back to the doctor and he’ll explain.”

I went back to the same doctor and he smiled at me sheepishly because he knew what happened. He explained a lot of things that I don’t understand. All I know is that I don’t have enough if iron.

Actually, it reminds me of a body checkup I did many years ago when I had my heart checked. The report did show that I may have Thalassemia but the doctor said it was not something alarming. So, I just brushed it away. I remembered as well, that my previous attempt to donate blood ended up the same. I guess it’s time again for me to renew my health report.

I’m still sad for not being able to donate blood. :'(


It’s Back :(

I had a terrible migraine yesterday. I couldn’t even move my head while driving. I took my shower once I reached home and straight off to bed after that. It was 8:30 PM. It wasn’t a good night sleep but I slept through till 7:30 AM the next morning.

I thought migraine was gone but although it was not as severe as last night, it was still uncomfortable. Jackson offered me his medication for migraine. I took one after lunch and it gradually got better. My doctor did prescribed me some pills for migraine called Cafergot; which did not help. Luckily, Jackson’s did!

Later that night, it was my chest. I used to have chest pain but for few years I did not experience that anymore, until today. 🙁

Everything seems like breaking down.. I need my meds now!



I came across a story and it goes as such:






Me? 一切順其自然。

State of Mind

It’s Okay to be Sad

Sadness is an appropriate human emotion for many of the situations we find ourselves in.

When a relationship ends.

When a loved one dies.

When someone hurts our feelings, or we hurt someone with something we said or did.

When we miss someone.

When something that’s important to us goes missing or gets broken.

When there is suffering, disaster or catastrophe in the world, even when it happens far from our own shores.

When we suffer a setback or a disappointment.

When we’re exhausted or overwhelmed.

When we have problems in our lives.

State of Mind

Just When I Was Ready

It has been so many years. I wouldn’t say that I am very experienced in this subject. After all, I have only been dating for once. Crush? My first was the worst. I made the first move and things died after a day and we no longer talk to each other any more. My first relationship? It was dead as well. The feeling is pretty much alive. It’s just that the other person was no longer living on Earth. I can confidently say I sucks at this!

At one point of time, I wasn’t ready after an untimely demise of this particular person. So, I had shut myself from other people around me. I’ve become very, very reserved except to a selected one or two close friends; who knew what happened. They had been telling me if I continue to shut myself out, soon I will missed out a lot of good things. Indeed, they were right.

Again, at a point of time, I was ready or at least I thought I was. It felt great and light. I spread my arms, ready to embrace this good that I thought was coming at me. Suddenly, it made a sharp turn away from me. Oh, it was not coming for me. I’ve got the wrong idea.

You know, there was a big incident happened where this MH370 plane went missing. At one time, I seriously hope I was in this plane. Lost somewhere and will never be found.

Well, that’s only for me. I do sincerely hope everyone on the plane are safe and back to where they planned to go.

State of Mind

I thought

I thought it came back,
The feeling I used to have.
I thought it is a chance,
To right my wrong.

I thought that’s it,
But it’s not.
It was a mistake.
Things were not what I thought it is.

I was disappointed.
It was sad.
But at the same time, I was furious.

Let’s forget.

State of Mind

Protected: Hurt So Deep

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