曹操賜雲長馬袍贈金銀

I came across a story and it goes as such:

劉備駐守徐州時,有二個城一個就是下邳城由雲長駐守,徐州由劉備跟張飛守,後來曹操攻打徐洲,失陷之後只剩下邳城,尚未失陷,後來曹操用計把關公騙出城將關公騙到山上,曹操包圍整座山下,讓關公進退不得之後,派出張遼想勸關公投降,但關公寧死不降,張遼則說,今天若戰死,則背三條罪:
目前劉備尚未知生死,當年你們三結義,共同扶天下,如果你今天戰死,那劉備復出,無人可助,為罪一。
若今天就戰死,城中的二個大嫂,無人可依賴,有負劉備所託,為罪二。
你武藝超群,兼通經史百書,不思與劉備匡扶漢室,只想成匹夫之勇,安得為義,為罪三。

關公想了之後,要投降可以,但需依他三個條件,否則寧死不降,這三個條件為:
一者,吾與皇叔設誓,共扶漢室,吾今只降漢帝,不降曹操;
(這個意思是說,關公跟劉備是來扶助漢朝,所以當是降漢朝當今皇上,也就是漢獻帝,不降曹操)
二者,二嫂處請給皇叔俸祿養贍,一應上下人等,皆不許到門;(這條的意思是說,劉備是皇叔,所以應該要給劉備二位夫人,皇叔所得的待遇及禮遇)。
三者,但知劉皇叔去向,不管千里萬里,便當辭去(這條的意思是說,只要劉備的下落,不管如何,關公都要離開)。
三者缺一,斷不肯降。

曹操就答應了,關雲長就投降了,曹操班師回朝,設宴請客,會同所有的文武百官,以客禮待關公,延之上賓,又送錦綾及金銀器冊相送,及美女數人,自從到許昌之後,曹操三日一小宴,五日一大宴,來款待關雲長,有一天,曹操看見關雲長的綠錦戰袍非常的舊,就目測雲長的身材,用特殊的錦緞幫雲長再做一領戰袍,雲長接受之後,穿在身上,但仍然將舊的戰袍穿在外面,曹操笑著說:
雲長為何如此節儉呢?
雲長說:並非節儉,而是舊袍是皇叔(劉備)所賜,穿在身上就有如看到大哥一樣,不敢以丞相(曹操)所賜之新袍而忘了大哥的舊義,所以才穿在外面,曹操感歎:真乃義士也!雖然口中稱羨,但心中實在不悅,又一天,曹操再請雲長赴宴,散宴之後,送雲長出府,看到雲長的馬,非常的瘦弱,就問關公,為何戰馬如此瘦弱,雲長回答:因為身體頗重,馬不能負荷,所以馬才會如此瘦弱。

曹操就叫手下牽一匹馬來,一會兒馬到,看到那匹馬,身如火炭,狀況非常的雄偉,就問了雲長,認識這匹馬嗎?雲長說:莫非是呂布的所騎的赤兔馬,操說:沒錯,就把馬送給雲長了

雲長送了之後,非常的高興,再三的拜謝曹操,曹操不高興的問,之前送金銀及美女,也沒看你拜謝過,反而送一畜牲,你卻再三的拜謝,然不成人比畜牲還不如嗎?雲長說:此馬日行千里,今天有幸得之,如果有機會得知大哥的消息,則一日就可以相遇了,因此而高興,曹操聽完後悔,但己送出,不可反悔了。

Me? 一切順其自然。

It’s Okay to be Sad

Sadness is an appropriate human emotion for many of the situations we find ourselves in.

When a relationship ends.

When a loved one dies.

When someone hurts our feelings, or we hurt someone with something we said or did.

When we miss someone.

When something that’s important to us goes missing or gets broken.

When there is suffering, disaster or catastrophe in the world, even when it happens far from our own shores.

When we suffer a setback or a disappointment.

When we’re exhausted or overwhelmed.

When we have problems in our lives.

Just When I Was Ready

It has been so many years. I wouldn’t say that I am very experienced in this subject. After all, I have only been dating for once. Crush? My first was the worst. I made the first move and things died after a day and we no longer talk to each other any more. My first relationship? It was dead as well. The feeling is pretty much alive. It’s just that the other person was no longer living on Earth. I can confidently say I sucks at this!

At one point of time, I wasn’t ready after an untimely demise of this particular person. So, I had shut myself from other people around me. I’ve become very, very reserved except to a selected one or two close friends; who knew what happened. They had been telling me if I continue to shut myself out, soon I will missed out a lot of good things. Indeed, they were right.

Again, at a point of time, I was ready or at least I thought I was. It felt great and light. I spread my arms, ready to embrace this good that I thought was coming at me. Suddenly, it made a sharp turn away from me. Oh, it was not coming for me. I’ve got the wrong idea.

You know, there was a big incident happened where this MH370 plane went missing. At one time, I seriously hope I was in this plane. Lost somewhere and will never be found.

Well, that’s only for me. I do sincerely hope everyone on the plane are safe and back to where they planned to go.

I thought

I thought it came back,
The feeling I used to have.
I thought it is a chance,
To right my wrong.

I thought that’s it,
But it’s not.
It was a mistake.
Things were not what I thought it is.

I was disappointed.
It was sad.
But at the same time, I was furious.

Let’s forget.

11th Year

Happy 30th birthday!

I’ve learnt to forgive myself but I will not forget.
I’ve learnt to love myself more but you will be there.
I’ve learnt to move on with you guiding me along.

It has taken me so long.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Broga, Conquered

We have finally made it to the top of Broga Hill! Barely, though. 🙂

It was a very ad-hoc plan. I am having a week long leave and the days before today were basically wasted by doing nothing at home, except babysitting my brother’s two monkeys. Two days ago,Ann suggested this. She asked me first and then in Whatsapp group chat. At the end, there were four dumb asses joined including myself.

We decided to meet at Ann’s house at 3:30am but as usual someone overslept and we departed at 4:00am. I borrowed my brother’s GPS as none of us dumb asses been there before. I chose the wrong “rabbit farm” from the list of selection and we ended up in the middle of nowhere.. actually somewhere in the palm plantation. Both Ann and I started to searched on our smartphone for direction. After 10km drive from the wrong way, we knew we have reached the entrance when we saw few cars parked by the roadside and a group of youngsters. It was a little bit past 5:00am.

We geared up (just sport shoes and torchlight) and walked toward the entrance of the plantation. Ann asked the youngsters if we could join them along but since they need to wait for another car, we decided to start the trail first. We walked for about 5km and stopped as we couldn’t find the trail to proceed. We saw a group of 3 heading towards our direction and decided to follow them instead but unfortunately, they were not sure as well. Then, we decided to wait for that group of youngsters.

We were lucky that it didn’t rain before our hike as the trail are mostly muddy terrain and it was dried up. So, it’s easier to hike this way. The hike reminded me of Mt. Kinabalu hike but this was much more easier. There are a lot of uneven steps, dangerous ravines, steep slopes and not to mentioned that it’s pitch dark. At some points, I felt nausea and needed to sit down for a while. It was hard to catch my breathe. I guess we are a little bit unfit for such activities. Ann even asked us to go for next hike at Crystal Hill!

We managed to reached the first peak at 6:30am, approximately an hour taken. Looking down, we can see the lights from the surrounding and took a look up, lots of bright stars all over the sky. We continued to second and third peak and stayed there for the sunrise. Crowds were building up at each peak.

The sun roses at around 7 and we stayed until it’s fully up for some shoots and of course, camwhored a little. We made our moves when it’s getting uncomfortably warm. On the way down, we came across this big rock where hikers would stand on it for photo. There were bunch of school kids on it. So, we waited a bit for our turn and got one of their teacher to take a shoot for us. We continued our journey down.

Going down is a lot harder and trickier than going up. I’d guess it’s the gravity and loose soil/sand makes the trail slippery. Suddenly, we heard one of the school kid in front shouted to their teacher way behind us that one of the pupil slipped/fell and hurt himself. He kinda ran down, according to another schoolmates. While looking for a way down, we tried to see how bad the boy hurt himself and it was pretty bad — bleeding wound on his knee, sprained arm and leg; and bruised face. There were more than 10 of the kids waiting at the side. We offered to guide them down. If we are not mistaken, they had like 3 female teacher escorting them in this trip. They should get at least a guy teacher along, IMHO.

We successfully guided the kids down the foot of the hill. It was about 9am then. The feeling was great, to be able to help people in need. We feel accomplished and super proud of ourselves 😀

We were super hungry after the hike as we had not have our breakfast yet. Instead of looking for food, Ann brought us to a Chinese temple nearby. It’s called “Sak Dato Temple”, just after the Selangor-Negeri Sembilan border. We sight-see for a while and offered prayers. Ann even took a shower there! Then, we headed back to KL for our first meal of the day.

I fell asleep while we were on the way back. The three of them were discussing and Ann giving direction. We were going to a famous eatery for its fish head. I am not a fan of fish head and luckily they have pork! ^^ They ordered a steamed fish head, steamed fish belly with sauce, pork, half chicken and a dish of vegetable. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that we were almost died of starvation. Even though if the dishes are not delicious at all, it doesn’t matter to starving people like us; but it’s yummy and not bad.

Follow Up from ECU

It is a very rare occasion to get a call on my house phone, especially during the afternoon and there was no caller ID — just 01. A guy, with a very English English, asking for me. He is Alvin, from ECU, calling to follow up on the offer.

I gave it a very serious thought but has not got a conclusion/decision yet. So, I’ve ask him to give me another buffer until end of this week and I will revert to him by email. He seems good with that.

Sigh, what should I do?